You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just found puke in my bra..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
