It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
