Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Semen is not good for contacts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
