Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
