Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
