whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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