Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dicks are not precious.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
