Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
