I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
