i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
how does that bad decision feel?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
