when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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