If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
