It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
