I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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