Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
