is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
