Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
