**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
