Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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