New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
