After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
