my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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