At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
