Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
