Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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