Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
