get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last time i carry you out of a forest
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
