I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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