So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
