Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
