Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
