Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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