help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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