My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
