I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
