Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
her vagine was all disorganized.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you would pick up someone in the library
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
