and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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