I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
