y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
there is glitter all over my balls
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