I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
