Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Randomize
