I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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