chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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