Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
