Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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