U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
