i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
