Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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