Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
