like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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