if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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