So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
