I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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