Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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