What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
