If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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