i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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