I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
